phoenix_arose: (morning ducks)
Today would not be a day to dick with me - i'm tired the insomnia is totally out of control now we are talking less 3 hours a night - and the really frightening thing is my body is adjusting to it. Body is altaully lettig me run my self in to the ground. This morning i am alert and coherant (and freezing ) i'm also pissed i have at least in part discovered what is causeing me to wake up every 15- 30 mins - Matt. He will say " i'll call you back later tonight" instead of actually talking to me when i call and then my stupid-girl-brain keeps waking me up for fear of missing a call that never fucking comes. I'm not sure how to stop this - the part of the brain that's doing it is not something that i can control. So what to do .... Other issues contributing to lack of sleep 1. job.... no job? job.... no job? job.... no job? job.... no job? job.... no job? job.... no job? job.... no job? 2. normal lindsey doesn't sleep well things.


I'm in a extremely bad mood this morning as well i sould have captured the IM i had with Matt - he agreeed to call me and respond to my e-mail last night - there ws no phone call last night and no e-mail this morning - my pacients has worn thin - i'm starting to really wonder what the deal is with this avoidance thing - i picked small fight yeasterday and got a few answers but the big questions where in the e-mail that he has been sending ASAP since yesterday at 1 pm ....


*sigh* Part of my hyer reation to everything is lack of sleep - i know this and i can cognitively releaize that i ned to gage down my emotional and mental responces to every thing but it's really hard - i don't wanna slip in to appathy but i am tired of feeling everythig like it was life or death.


geez okay veting should stop for now


Weekend looks like
Today -> R. after work maybe
Friday -> work then on to a plane for Tulsa
Sat-> 70th b-day party
Sunday -> more party and then fly home
Monday -> work
Tuesday - > last day of work ..... maybe ?
phoenix_arose: (matt and i)

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Lindsey Swem

June 2013

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