bad month

I need some down time - i can't even begin to explain why i need down time. i thouhgt saide down time was goingto be this coming weekend .... it's looking like while an unintentional lie - lie it was - i needs must start planning for a trip to az in july as matt shall not be coming home this weekend - and actally ther most upsetting thing was is i told his dog *hangs head* thisa might souind like a load of crap but the dog was excited about this ffact  and now well shit i feel like i've lied to a kid. crap -

tit's been a month for hell actaully - today ended in begging for an extetion on water and electrictiy tilli get paid - b/c either the bank or matt didn't come threu on something that was supposed to be done yesterday

i am also tired of my family  b/c they seem to think reminding me that this stuff has not been taken care of is the best way to fix the problem well should any of them be reading this it's not iuf you think it's frusterating to watch me suffer with this -m imagine suffering and someone kicking you inthe stomach that's kinda how it feels - i undserstand we are all upset that no oners can call me - but picking at me about it's not going to fix it - you wanna talk to me make a no strinhgs money offer ... other wise back off


sigh - by sept things are goingto bbe great again - life will be looking up it will get okay

it will get okay
it will get okay
it will get okay


sigh -

I'm really disapoint personally too about matt not coming home  - it's not like he has much control over it i just  i just got my hopes up that's all  i shouldn't have i knew better. i feel like a little kid it's really not THAT huge of a deal i just well shit it's been a bad month