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phoenix_arosei have a truely blessed life - i do there are so many who would kill to have what i have and find lacking.
So first i wold like to give a huge thank you to the universe - that i have a house to live in with my warm cuddley pets, good friends and likr family friend, a strong supportive S.O. who has managed to put up with me for far longer than i thought he would, there is food on the table and i have warm clothes and bills paid
this is no even close to all the blessing that have been layed before me - those are the big ones that come to mind
now on the the whiney /bitchy post i really wanna make
i'm loseing unterest in sex .... for those of you who know me well perhaps you might find this as disturbing as i do - it's like some one hit the mute buton- about 2 weeks after matt left. Anything remotly related to sex just got cut out of my brain this includes where people get catagorized. It's similar to the lj tags "friend" lover"family"sibling" ect... people can fall in several catagories at the same time - i realized matt is no longer under that lover tag and he shoudln't feel bad 'cause nobody is any more. Which, need less to say, is fucked up and it kinda bothers me - i don't want this to happen it's hard for me to even admit that it happens - it's not that i've lost interest in matt - i haven't it's.. as if my lack of interest and moveing him out of the lover catagory has allowed me to come out of my funk i was in when he left. To be honest i'd rather have the funk.
i'm also tired of being the only one working and $$ being tight - gah i work too hard for it to be this tight - i'm going to start giving up plasma or something- i don't want to have to pick btwn basics so much - it's going to get better in about a month but i don't wanna wait untill then - with the addtion of the new pooch i need to budget more $$ for dog food - which means less $$ for me - it's fine and i don't mind it - i would like not to have to wonder if dog food means no lindsey food .... and to clearify i'm not broke i just keep haveing to pick where which large sum of money gets spent - since matt isn't working and we are actually pretty close to makeing on my little paycheck. Yes matt's wonderful father is helping out here alot - he's great and he's way doing his part that he signed up to do that's fine and wonderful
i need to get my DL repl and i also need to pay that stupid warrent 1st ... some b.s. ticket that never got taken care of almost a year ago cause i don't think they will let you repl the darn thing with out clearing that 1st - which is rather stupid i think - i also need to looking ot gett the insureance for my car switched over to me - i neeed to do this now so that when i can up grade my car i don't have to bother about getting brand new insurance for it you know
Works been good. thay have me off the phones and that's been pretty nice actually - i'm getting a bit rusty with the phone thing but it all comes back about 5 min in to the 1st couple calls - i'm really hoping that they do an other round of hiring soon so that i can at least apply - and then on to other "you must be badged to work in this deptartment" things
i am not being very productive- with this gym going thing i need to make sure i haul my ass to the gym more often i didn't go much this wek i was doing th egirl thing and just didin't feel like it - i need to keep after it - i need to get to my stupid yoga classes i want teventually try the reformer palaties thing - i think i'd like it ... i think it would help faltten the parts of me i want flat - i put on 2 lbs a couple of weeks a go over night (water wieght for the girl thing) but it's werid to watch the # shift - *rolls eyes* i don't honestly care that much
um yesi a hord of new icons that i want to use and can't b/c i want to save the ones that are currently there and the mac won't let me save them - i't's kinda pissing me off .... i'll deal i'll do it at home tongiht befor i upload my back up file and wipe the stupid HD - the computer is screwed ... windows virus thing finally picked up the bugs ect that have been lerking on there and flipped out - not like i didn't know - i had been using the crl+alt+del menu to get progams to run b/c something ate my windows up. so i am rescuing my musics and stuff and then we start over als will be getting a can of air one of these days to really blow all the dust and shit out of th poor box - it's happer now in a room where that cats can't get to anytime
um yes .... i'vebeen watching alot of "strong women/girly movies" - what do you mean that you have never heard of this catagory - well tomb rader(strong women- who loves some one), Pride & Prejudice (2005) (stong women in love ) , Mists of avalon (storng women in love ). so yeah make me want to reevluate what i want in a life in a releationship it make me weepy and restless and there's just not for it - well tomb radernever makes me weepy it make me empowered - i wanna go learn a matrial art or something every time i watch it . (i can't hit people - so it doesn't work )
any way this is the product of over 24 hours of typing
and now for the lyric that have been in my head
2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him and winter just wasn't my season.
Yea we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason.
Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button girl
So just cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe just breathe
May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it
Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button boys so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breath just breathe
There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around
2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no lonmger inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, ohho breathe
for my personal referance
http://tascha.ch/wordpress/?page_id=19
http://www.theblogger.net/PhoenixArose/
So first i wold like to give a huge thank you to the universe - that i have a house to live in with my warm cuddley pets, good friends and likr family friend, a strong supportive S.O. who has managed to put up with me for far longer than i thought he would, there is food on the table and i have warm clothes and bills paid
this is no even close to all the blessing that have been layed before me - those are the big ones that come to mind
now on the the whiney /bitchy post i really wanna make
i'm loseing unterest in sex .... for those of you who know me well perhaps you might find this as disturbing as i do - it's like some one hit the mute buton- about 2 weeks after matt left. Anything remotly related to sex just got cut out of my brain this includes where people get catagorized. It's similar to the lj tags "friend" lover"family"sibling" ect... people can fall in several catagories at the same time - i realized matt is no longer under that lover tag and he shoudln't feel bad 'cause nobody is any more. Which, need less to say, is fucked up and it kinda bothers me - i don't want this to happen it's hard for me to even admit that it happens - it's not that i've lost interest in matt - i haven't it's.. as if my lack of interest and moveing him out of the lover catagory has allowed me to come out of my funk i was in when he left. To be honest i'd rather have the funk.
i'm also tired of being the only one working and $$ being tight - gah i work too hard for it to be this tight - i'm going to start giving up plasma or something- i don't want to have to pick btwn basics so much - it's going to get better in about a month but i don't wanna wait untill then - with the addtion of the new pooch i need to budget more $$ for dog food - which means less $$ for me - it's fine and i don't mind it - i would like not to have to wonder if dog food means no lindsey food .... and to clearify i'm not broke i just keep haveing to pick where which large sum of money gets spent - since matt isn't working and we are actually pretty close to makeing on my little paycheck. Yes matt's wonderful father is helping out here alot - he's great and he's way doing his part that he signed up to do that's fine and wonderful
i need to get my DL repl and i also need to pay that stupid warrent 1st ... some b.s. ticket that never got taken care of almost a year ago cause i don't think they will let you repl the darn thing with out clearing that 1st - which is rather stupid i think - i also need to looking ot gett the insureance for my car switched over to me - i neeed to do this now so that when i can up grade my car i don't have to bother about getting brand new insurance for it you know
Works been good. thay have me off the phones and that's been pretty nice actually - i'm getting a bit rusty with the phone thing but it all comes back about 5 min in to the 1st couple calls - i'm really hoping that they do an other round of hiring soon so that i can at least apply - and then on to other "you must be badged to work in this deptartment" things
i am not being very productive- with this gym going thing i need to make sure i haul my ass to the gym more often i didn't go much this wek i was doing th egirl thing and just didin't feel like it - i need to keep after it - i need to get to my stupid yoga classes i want teventually try the reformer palaties thing - i think i'd like it ... i think it would help faltten the parts of me i want flat - i put on 2 lbs a couple of weeks a go over night (water wieght for the girl thing) but it's werid to watch the # shift - *rolls eyes* i don't honestly care that much
um yesi a hord of new icons that i want to use and can't b/c i want to save the ones that are currently there and the mac won't let me save them - i't's kinda pissing me off .... i'll deal i'll do it at home tongiht befor i upload my back up file and wipe the stupid HD - the computer is screwed ... windows virus thing finally picked up the bugs ect that have been lerking on there and flipped out - not like i didn't know - i had been using the crl+alt+del menu to get progams to run b/c something ate my windows up. so i am rescuing my musics and stuff and then we start over als will be getting a can of air one of these days to really blow all the dust and shit out of th poor box - it's happer now in a room where that cats can't get to anytime
um yes .... i'vebeen watching alot of "strong women/girly movies" - what do you mean that you have never heard of this catagory - well tomb rader(strong women- who loves some one), Pride & Prejudice (2005) (stong women in love ) , Mists of avalon (storng women in love ). so yeah make me want to reevluate what i want in a life in a releationship it make me weepy and restless and there's just not for it - well tomb radernever makes me weepy it make me empowered - i wanna go learn a matrial art or something every time i watch it . (i can't hit people - so it doesn't work )
any way this is the product of over 24 hours of typing
and now for the lyric that have been in my head
2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him and winter just wasn't my season.
Yea we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason.
Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button girl
So just cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe just breathe
May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it
Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button boys so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breath just breathe
There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around
2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no lonmger inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, ohho breathe
for my personal referance
http://tascha.ch/wordpress/?page_id=19
http://www.theblogger.net/PhoenixArose/
