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Apr. 11th, 2006 01:44 pmSo i'm not having a good personal day
I won't lie - i have control issues- an i learned the lesson that yoi can't control everythign or every one - but i can control my reation to them -
List of things i have not control over ATM
-Work or the lack there of i don't know how many times the can tell me that they can't be with out me plaese don't leave no one wants to see you go - but they can't get me hired b4 i leave but they have 6 weeks(apox) to do it in. some days i just can't be mentally here b/c i know that no matter how hard i work how good i am at a job i'm fucked in 6 weeks unless they deside to hire people - fuck that i'm stilllooking for something that pays at least 11$/hr and i can afford to be picky untill about May 22nd the i need to take a job that's it for any $$$ cause i can't afford to be with out a job.
-Matt + Me and my half of the relationship, iknow how hard long distance is for some people for about 90% of people b/c this is only the second time i've tried to do it and it's the only time i've tried to do it monogamsyly - know i know why long distance is hard - screw this longdistance should = semi open status as in i can go hang out with a male freind and not have to worrk that someone is goingto flip out if i don't get home untill 3am or that i stay there b/c we were up talking and drink wine untill 3am and i didn't want to drive home. Even more ideal for me would be all things are fair game except sex(intercourse). that would be the ideal place for me (taking this train to a private journal)
those are the 2 big ones - i'm looking for work to help withthe 1st one but i can't get matt stillin one place long enought to even think about talking about the other one he doesn't like talking on the phone - why did he fail to metion that b4 he left wheni made it very clear that i expacted to be on the phone talking alot while he was gone
freaking hell and people are haveing mostly bad days today withthe eception of jaela (congrats) - i go back to working for people who are going to fire me now =P
I won't lie - i have control issues- an i learned the lesson that yoi can't control everythign or every one - but i can control my reation to them -
List of things i have not control over ATM
-Work or the lack there of i don't know how many times the can tell me that they can't be with out me plaese don't leave no one wants to see you go - but they can't get me hired b4 i leave but they have 6 weeks(apox) to do it in. some days i just can't be mentally here b/c i know that no matter how hard i work how good i am at a job i'm fucked in 6 weeks unless they deside to hire people - fuck that i'm stilllooking for something that pays at least 11$/hr and i can afford to be picky untill about May 22nd the i need to take a job that's it for any $$$ cause i can't afford to be with out a job.
-Matt + Me and my half of the relationship, iknow how hard long distance is for some people for about 90% of people b/c this is only the second time i've tried to do it and it's the only time i've tried to do it monogamsyly - know i know why long distance is hard - screw this longdistance should = semi open status as in i can go hang out with a male freind and not have to worrk that someone is goingto flip out if i don't get home untill 3am or that i stay there b/c we were up talking and drink wine untill 3am and i didn't want to drive home. Even more ideal for me would be all things are fair game except sex(intercourse). that would be the ideal place for me (taking this train to a private journal)
those are the 2 big ones - i'm looking for work to help withthe 1st one but i can't get matt stillin one place long enought to even think about talking about the other one he doesn't like talking on the phone - why did he fail to metion that b4 he left wheni made it very clear that i expacted to be on the phone talking alot while he was gone
freaking hell and people are haveing mostly bad days today withthe eception of jaela (congrats) - i go back to working for people who are going to fire me now =P
