(no subject)

i'm grtting frusteredat the smallest things this week - i'm still riding high from the good news earlier in the week but to be honest - i'm just fed up with bills and money being tight and ect - i kinda wanna buy a house. have i mentioned i loth moveing and change and i hate getting settled in ahouse only to have to unsettle every thing and packit up and move again ..... *sigh*


I just want alot of things that have to wait ATM and i'm not verry paitence with my self you see

but that s a whole other day - this is so much catch- up that we need to be doing and i just find that a bit overwelming this morning


thank the gods it seems being perminate has eveaotarte the head noise that prevents me from sleeping yay!!!!!!!!

(no subject)

so yes if you need me you can't call the house or the cel or e-mail b/c i'm completely cut the fuck off ..... 


i'm almost sure i can get the house phone and computer back up if i reallyreallyreallyreallyreally had to but at the moment ...... i'm at tmy mother satempting tpbe patiecenty whiel i still wait for that damed e-mail to show up from att he says he put it in my comments ...... 15 min ago ..... it's not her eyet and honest ly all i really wanna do is go home curl up and cry i briefly considered the emerald forest  but have desided against it - Ryan would be like the only one i know that thand i would feel out of place  and clingy so i'm goignto give it till 9:45 and then i'm calling amtt and telling him ii'm holding his licence to fly hostiage till i get th e-mail or he reads it to me 


i'm just really don't with this waiting don't have time or wanna make any feeling i get from him - and this outstanding e-mail kinda sucks too - he's also stopped saying i love you to me on the phone ... that really hurt more than words can express since it's not like her here to show me love  he could ataleast say it ... althoguth perhaps he doesn't mean it  so he's not saying - that also hurts but there just isn't a whole lot i can do with that ....... 

less than 10 to go .... i'm gogin back to CNN