humor: free gift with purchase

[phoenix_arose]

Has i was getting up to pee for the 3rd time last night, i joking told James i'm tired of this free gift with purchase,

I'm am happily  with jelly bean,  this jelly bean was bought with many hours  of wonderful love making. with this amazing jellybean. you also get
the following free gifts

• 1 or more trips to the bathroom per night 
• the inability to be wake after 7 pm
• constipation (which for me makes be nauseated and not hungry)
  
• odd appetite changes (for the better i'm sure)
• being waited on when you are too tired to move
• baths but not hot ones (only warm ones are allowed)
• clothes not fitting  nor are you big enough for maternity clothes
• boobs they are now Monstrously heavy and large( this is a cool bonous if you never had any and want more but for those who had more than plenty no so cool)
•  and at the end of the 9-10 month stretch you get a cute baby (who i'm sure has other free gifts with purchase )

•  

the sardonic humor /whining bought to you by afternoon nausea

Comments

[charlayne.livejournal.com]

Hugs sweetie. It's a good thing, in the end.

On the constipation, get the Activia and start it daily. It helps (really). And step up the cereal and stuff like broccoli.

Being waited on is a good thing, take advantage of it while you can.

I honestly believe the huge sleepies during pregnancy is the Goddesses way of letting you rest up before you have to face the long nights of every two hours feeding times when jellybean gets here.

Go ahead and buy a good nursing bra, you will need it.

[perfect-drug.livejournal.com]

I'm allergic to a lot of the "good fiber foods" but your right i need to get back to my apples and yogurt for b-fast full of good fiber. i'm waithing on the nursing bra i actually want one that will fit when the milk comes in ...... they are at least 2-3 sizes bigger already really don't wanna spend money on bras i won't need later

[silversaff.livejournal.com]

* 1 or more trips to the bathroom per night
It got to 3 to 4 for me in the end.

* the inability to be wake after 7 pm
Later, it will be inability to be -asleep- after 7pm. Discomfort will make it tough. Sleep now.

* constipation (which for me makes be nauseated and not hungry)
It's all the dairy they suggest you ingest. I suggest prunes, if you can. Apples are good too, and the yogurt. All of those are baby-approved.

* odd appetite changes (for the better i'm sure)
Not only will your appetite change, but you will have the cravings. FOLLOW THEM. There are women who even crave dirt. No kidding. I never did, mine was tons and tons of chocolate and junk foods. And you will want to eat at all kinds of weird hours, and it will grow and drop off all the sudden on you too. "I was hungry... now that I'm done cooking, I'm not.. damn." Basically, those cravings are a way for the body to tell you what kinds of things you need for what you're building.=)

* being waited on when you are too tired to move
Nothing beats someone giving you some understanding=)

* baths but not hot ones (only warm ones are allowed)
I took warm enough baths. Even did a hot tub! You just can't stay in a long time. And my advice: Get used to taking your bath ONLY when Jamie is home. Because there will be a time in which you are unable to get out of the tub by yourself.

* clothes not fitting nor are you big enough for maternity clothes
Big, Comfy Stretch Cotton. Pajama pants and shirts are very comfortable, and socially acceptable to wear in public.:) I always had big baggy shirts so I was good there, just had to have some nice cotton pants (and shorts!).

* boobs they are now Monstrously heavy and large( this is a cool bonous if you never had any and want more but for those who had more than plenty no so cool)
They also don't always last either, until you've had two. I would say get a bra to get you comfortable right now. If they grow, get another one later. It's worth it, and you can always sell them to a consignment maternity place later. Also a good place to find such things!

* and at the end of the 9-10 month stretch you get a cute baby (who i'm sure has other free gifts with purchase )

oh, you have no idea=) And let's hope he wants to stay for the whole 9 month stretch!! (And not heading towards 10, trust me, not fun).

Gotta keep that sense of humor. ENJOY IT, as much as the changes suck! As a parent you need humor most of all.:)

Remember this: God made babies cute so you won't kill them before they turn 5.

Now if God had only thought ahead to teenagers....;)

[perfect-drug.livejournal.com]

"Now if God had only thought ahead to teenagers."
- he did they can run faster

"And let's hope he wants to stay for the whole 9 month stretch!! (And not heading towards 10, trust me, not fun)"
- I already told James and the doc the piglet gets 42 weeks max then i don't care how they get the piglet we are done at 42.


I have to buy new shirts PJ pants i have (and very cool work place who won't care if i'm in PJs) but since the boobs opted for getting so big so fast my large shirts are too small in that one place.

it's coming along i'm actually starting to feel better *crosses finger this last for a month or 2 *

[silversaff.livejournal.com]

I already told James and the doc the piglet gets 42 weeks max then i don't care how they get the piglet we are done at 42.

Take the epidural. Do it do it do it do it do it.

My sister and sister-in-law both had an hour labor in total and barely felt a thing because they did. Hence why I think they both bothered to have two kids.:) I'm still jealous 14 years later.

Enducing, forceps, all that stuff? Not even a worry. That makes it go faster! And do a doc, not a midwife.;)

it's coming along i'm actually starting to feel better *crosses finger this last for a month or 2 *

Here's to it! Toes crossed!