taken from a paper journal

[phoenix_arose]

******* Nov 1 '00

I just got offthe phone with you the second time

All the girls you have up there are competeing for your attention and your touch and i am in the same heat w/ fun playful girls who have completely replaced me in every way except you love me or at least i hope you do

They are physically satisfying you when you choose. I am lonely and tired of not being touched - no hugs no soft touches on my back - nothing

%%%%%% stopped by and gave me a hug - i almost cryed - we talked boys and then he went home.

You don't talk with me anymore either. you tell me nothing about whats' going on, how any of your friends are, how yor classes are - nothing

I share everything with you - everything! you not talking makes me feel unwelcome and unwanted on you changing life

sometimes i think you don't remeber that this is hard on me too - i would love to get sober calls like the other night more often - they mean so much to me

You don't have to be perfect I'm not asking you to change - I want you to understand where i am coming from

God i miss you

My love always
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